September is Bisexual Visibility Month, a month set aside internationally to celebrate and raise awareness for the Bisexual community in the LGBTQ+ movement. I have had the pleasure of talking to a number of individuals who identify as Bisexual, and this has shed light on many issues that they face as a community. As you read this, aside from the notable repetition of the word “Bisexual,” I hope to break some of the misconceptions and biases toward the Bi-community and perhaps help one or two people understand and explain who they are.
That being said, let’s start by describing what Bisexuality is. A friend shared the definition by Robyn Ochs, a bisexual activist, where she defines Bisexuality by saying, “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted—romantically and/or sexually—to people of more than one sex, and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” This definition allows a wide margin for people who have had doubts about their bisexuality to claim it and find who they are. It is far better than simply stating that “a bisexual is someone sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women.” Yes, I pulled that limited description right off of Google, and due to unpaid partnerships, I will not be sharing the link (that, and the obvious binary definition of gender).
I would personally share Robyn Ochs’ definition with someone who asks me about the Bi-community due to its inclusivity. The description is broad and definitely answers a good number of questions, such as ‘Who is bisexual?’, ‘When can you identify as bisexual?’, ‘Can I love romantically and/or sexually and still be bisexual?’, ‘I have not acted on my feelings toward someone who identifies as cis/trans-mxn/womxn, am I still bisexual?’. All of those can be answered by Ochs’ definition.
A lot of people, some whom I’ve known personally and others with whom I’ve barely interacted, have expressed their reluctance to call themselves ‘bisexuals.’ They have mentioned that they are not sure whether they fall into the bracket or that they do not feel bisexual ‘enough.’ They have also been in situations where their sexuality is questioned and dismissed, ironically by those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. It is this kind of backlash that has not only made members of the community afraid to embrace their bisexuality, but also afraid to accept who they are. Negativity fuels the internalized biphobia that makes it hard to personally accept who you are.
Challenges faced by those who identify as bisexual, from persons outside the LGBTQ+ community, include stereotypical notions that not only invalidate how they love, but also biphobia and violence. Many are under the assumption that bisexuality is a phase that fades out eventually. This is a common misconception, and it’s high time we dismiss that notion. How someone loves is valid, and offering the love and support they need on their journey is important. We need to create safe spaces that are inclusive of all members of the LGBTQ+ community, where bi-persons can speak and exist freely with no judgment or prejudice.
By continuously reassuring, accepting, and speaking against violence toward bisexual persons, we create unity within the community. For a community that strives for equality and acceptance, it is up to us to protect and love those who are out as bisexual and to always bring awareness to their community. Every day should be Bisexual Visibility Day. Remember that you are valid!
By Sharon Kioko
